On Leaving, an Anniversary of Sorts
One year passed, an anniversary of sorts. It was necessary,
I may not have come to full terms with what I’ve done–
broke a heart (of mostly stone), upheaved myself, my shallow roots,
shallow due to constant attempts to whittle me down, hundreds of
attempts to whittle me down, by one who thinks they have every
right to do so–not critisism, feedback, was the push back, right.
I did upheave, it took all my will, and it became a race to
get done with the thing–lawyers, documents, packing, and more
packing. It went on and on then Covid appeared on the horizon,
threatening, and I had to accelerate, to rush to protect my old ones, to
come galloping up to make camp, now, the gatekeeper, the bringer of food, or
whatever they needed from the outside world.
What did this cost me? Some lovely friends, a home, a stone-hearted man, a
world of nature, mountains, and its creatures. What have I got for it? Some
freedom, trading one prison for another, but this is my prison. I have good
neighbors, a thinner body, more nature, hills not mountains.
There will be more friends, perhaps a loving one. My heart is a bit stony, but
it can grow. It doesn’t have to happen, today, I know it often feels like it
must. I still have some time in this time of disease, of unkindness to others.
The time of “it’s all about me, and my friends, or my church, and the rest of you be
damned.” That’s what time it is.
And the clock is ticking, and we can, perhaps, see the beginning of the end of
the world, if we squint a little and listen to the dark unkind thoughts that
echo through this world.
May I find that dear one, before the end of this world. May we all wake up and
realize we have a choice to love and not hate. May we learn to love peace.
joans-zone
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BOOKS:
EMBRACING YOUR INNER CHEERLEADER: http://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Your-Inner-Cheerleader-ebook/dp/B0086WW7AA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&
qid=1340641839&sr=8-1&keywords=Embracing+Your+Inner+Cheerleader
STRANGER IN A STRANGE SKIN: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/95140
WATER RUNNING DOWNHILL, ROSE EDITION: http://www.amazon.com/Water-Running-Downhill-Words-Empowerment/dp/0692571965/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1447021563&sr=1-1&keywords=water+running+downhill%2C+words+of+empowerment%2C+rose+edition
A Redhead Looks at 60: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss/189-7867874-1973650?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=a+redhead+looks+at+60
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